Lights, Please!

Aurora borealis in Alaska

Aurora borealis in Alaska (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Caller: I cannot wait to see the Northern Lights here in Alaska. Concierge, what time do you turn them on?

WIDTS: They automatically come on when the average IQ of the people in Alaska is 95 or higher. We were at an average of 97 when I checked this morning, so I’m not sure why they are not on. Let’s see. OH MY! We are seeing an average of 94.8! That cannot be right. The schedule says Dan Quayle is departing for Florida today. Oh, but now YOU’RE here. I see what the problem is now.

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