Fantasy vs. Reality

One of the blogs I follow posted about an online dating profile they happened across with some impossibly high standards. the following is the edited list of what they want demand in a mate:

  1.  Honesty/Integrity/Loyalty/Sincerity/Values/Priorities – No flirting with other women allowed How does flirting with another woman have anything to do with honesty? I mean, unless he lies about it, right? Flirting is normal, it’s called interaction. It’s going to happen. Deal with it.
  2. Best Friend/Confidant A man that’s a best friend/confidant to a woman? I believe that is referred to as a girlfriend, or possibly even a homosexual man.
  3. Confident/Secure Are You? If you have to post a lengthy list of perfect man qualifications, especially #1, I’m going with “Heeeellllllll Naw!”
  4. Self-awareness Ironical, no?
  5. Humility – knows/accepts when he’s done or said something wrong and can apologize (no excuses, but rather reasons) Actually, based on my experience this is something women need more help with than men.
  6. Responsible/Dependable
  7. Chemistry/Passion/Intensity/Sexual Compatibility Let’s interpret this to mean, “If you can’t be a model or a movie star, don’t bother…”
  8. Respectful See #17
  9. Non-procrastinator (terminal) If you would ask instead of demand, I bet shit gets done real quick
  10. Must be good to me and FOR me (as well as for my children…i.e. male figure, role model) Are you good to and for yourself and your kids? All the time?
  11. Enjoys snuggling/kissing/PDA As long as you enjoy anal, blowjobs and whatever else I might want to try when you get bored with having a fucking orgasm every time. 
  12. Social/Work/Hobbies/Alone Time Somehow, even if I was everything else on this list, I’m pretty sure here’s where I would lose. After all the work that meeting all the demands on this list would entail, the only hobby I would be able to manage would be to veg out in front of the TV or PC, which would then immediately void #9, #14, #15, #16. But at least I’d be catatonic enough for snuggling.
  13. E.Q. – the ability to correctly assess the emotions and oneself and those with whom one interacts So you want a bloody mind reader then…
  14. Conversation/Communication skills Iz canz tallk…
  15. Shares all household responsibilities (cooking/cleaning/bills etc) Are you sharing in all the manly duties as well? Shoveling walks, mowing lawns, etc.?
  16. Ambition/Dreams/Goals See my response to #21
  17. Non-abusive See #8
  18. Vulnerable Vulnerable or confident, take your pick. This one is rather an either/or scenario unless you’re willing to allow for growth.
  19. Compassionate I’ll give you this one and #20, because that should just be everyone
  20. Empathetic see #19
  21. Willingness to grow If I meet the demands of this list, I am therefore perfect, and not able to grow. But since I am not able to grow, I am not perfect. See lady, you’re not going to win here.
  22. Boundaries I have boundaries. Stay away from bat shit crazy women
  23. Work Ethic Wasn’t this already covered with # 6 and #9 
  24. Enriching/Challenging/Nurturing Same as #10. By repeating shit, you’ve told me that YOU are not even #4
  25. Sense of humor My responses to this should tell you that I have one; the fact that you wrote this list tells me you have one, but you don’t know it.
  26. Financial stability Well, I was stable until I met you and your need for me to be perfect. the attention I had to devote to this list of demands made me lose my focus on work and it all went to shit.
  27. And maybe even more…. More? There’s MORE that you want? Sweet Jumping Jehoshaphat! Maybe you should wait until A.I. is perfected, lady.

© 2012 by What I Desired to Say….

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