Interpreting Ignorance

Me: We offer an optional financial assistance program in partnership with a number of payday loan companies. Have you applied for such a loan in the past, sir?

Caller: I’ve never applied for a loan through you all.

Me: Of course you haven’t, sir. We do not offer loans. We offer a program to help you save money to make it easier to pay any payday loans back to the lender you did apply through.

Caller: I’ve never applied for a loan at all.

Me: Never, ever in your life? Not with any company, correct?

Caller: Nope, never.

Me: We only receive your information through that method so if you’ve never applied for such a loan, apparently someone else has.

Caller: Well, actually, I did apply about a week ago, but not through you. And I didn’t get a loan.

Me: No kidding? Well then.. When the application was filled out, there as a provision on there that you would be enrolled in our optional program for the one-time setup fee of $29.95, but you do have the possibility of being able to save up to $300 using the benefits of the program. I can explain it to you if you’d like, but the service is completely optional.

caller: No, I don’t want it. Cancel it.

Me: OK, I will cancel it now. You will be receiving an email confirmation in a minute or so. If not in your inbox, please check your SPAM folder. In addition…

Caller: NO! I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS AND I DON’T WANT IT!!

WIDTS: I am sorry, sir. It appears that we have gotten our wires crossed. Is there someone available that can interpret rational language into the Ignorance language you have seemingly adopted?

© 2012 by What I Desired to Say….

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