The Dark Side of the Extreme Right?

An artist's conception of a supermassive black...

Image via Wikipedia

Question posted on a popular Q&A site: Anyone know the name of the super massive black hole at the centre of our galaxy?

WIDTS: Rush Limbaugh?

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

Advertisements

Can You Say Low IQ? I Knew That You Could!

Pay Day (board game)

Image via Wikipedia

Question postedon a popular Q&A site: My payday is on the 3th when will checks be deposited  will it be fri, sat or sunday.?

WIDTS: I’m going to guess the 3RD being a Monday would be the day. But maybe banks work  differently for you than for everyone else.

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

PEBCAK

A serial number on an offical German personal ...

Image via Wikipedia

Me: May I get the system number for the equipment you are calling about please?

Caller: 27059

Me: I’m sorry, but system numbers are only 4 digits long.

Caller: Oh. Well, this is an injector not a scanner, so it doesn’t have a system number. The number I gave you is the serial number.

WIDTS: OK, I’ll just catalog your error under “PEBCAK” and advise you to read the user’s manual, alrighty?

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

Naked Ambition

Question posted on a popular Q&A site: my friends ex bf has uploaded nude pictures of her to a porno site how can she go abouts reporting this to someone to get the pictures taken down immediately and have his ass thrown in jail???

WIDTS: Well obviously the first thing you need to do is get on the internet and ask complete strangers what to do with your life….

Other than that, maybe the police can help you with the jail bit. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have seen them do it a time or two.

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

Turning on a Virgin

 

Mobile phone evolution (Japan 1997-2004)

Image via Wikipedia

Question posted on a popular Q&A site:  How do i turn on my virgin mobile phone?

WIDTS: Well it’s still a virgin, so be gentle and caring. Start by kissing it softly, and occasionally stroking it on the side. As it warms to the idea you can then move the caressing to the battery cover, while kissing it on the side. If It’s still willing then, move to the power button and press it really hard until it comes on for you.

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

 

I Scream, You Scream, He Screams…

scream and shout

Image by mdanys via Flickr

Me: What is your mailing address for the order please?

Caller: 1234 Main St. (Unintelligible gibberish as callers son screams into the phone)

Me: And what was the city and state again, please?

Caller: 1234 Main St.

WIDTS: Hold on. I’m going to Google that city. Yep, just as I thought. NOT a city at all. Care to try again? Maybe when your son has been physically and orally restrained?

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….


Introduction Overdue

WIDTS: Shall we introduce you to the land of reality, Mr. Cochran?

Corruption everywhere

Mephistopheles' head above crossed tridents, t...

Image via Wikipedia

Question posted on a popular Q&A site: What would be a teacher’s role in society?

WIDTS: Well the obvious answer would be teaching. Or were you going for the dark side equivalent: Corrupter of Innocents?

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

Reliable Owner

Cute Dog Puppy

Image by epSos.de via Flickr

Question posted on a popular Q&A site: When is a puppy reliably house broken?Ours is 7months and only has accidents when we forget to let her out. Is that normal?

WIDTS: A puppy is reliably house-broken when their owners are reliable about letting them outside to potty. So the question is: When are you going to be animal trained?

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

I Don’t Do Seniors

Question posted on a popular Q&A site: Senior Citizens, what is on your NOT to do list this coming year?

WIDTS: Dying

—————–

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….