Future Rulebreakers Anonymous Attendee

Question found on a popular Q&A site: There is a block on my verizon cell

English: Motorola L71 (China Mobile customised...

phone to where i cant txt or call anyone after a certain time.? Is there a code i can use to call or text ppl after that certain time without havin to call verizon

WIDTS: Yep. It is 225566667323 (callmomordad for those unfamiliar with T9)

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say…

Now Available for “Special” Delivery

1944 13c Special Delivery stamp, showing a let...

Image via Wikipedia

Caller: Is the De-Virginator available in retail stores?

Me: I’m sorry it is not at this time.

Caller: So only by mail order?

WIDTS: Correct, sir! But since you will be our first customer, we will hold a press conference at your house when we deliver your purchase.

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

Shut Up, Ronnie.

Christoper Columbus arrives in America

Image via Wikipedia

Question posted on a popular Q&A site: Since christopher colombus found America does that mean were italian.really I’m 25% Italian?

WIDTS: I don’t recall a harem of Italian women that ol’ Chris used to populate the continent with being on the Nina, Pinta &/or the Santa Maria… but maybe I was absent the day they taught that part of the story.

© 2011 by What I Desired to Say….

Erroneous Error Assignment

fax

Image via Wikipedia

Caller: I need you to turn the forwarding back on. It seems someone there switched it off.

Me: I’m sorry that was done incorrectly. Which number do we need to forward your fax number to so your faxes will be delivered to the Yahoo! fax service?

Caller: I don’t know.

WIDTS: So where was the error made again?

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2011 by What I Desired to Say….


Spend to Save?

ceramic piggy bank

Image via Wikipedia

Question posted on a popular Q&A site: Im getting a job soon and would like to know how to save up for school?

WIDTS: I’m going to go with… spending less than you make. Is that such a hard concept to understand? I don’t think so. The execution of it is difficult, I’ll admit. But the idea at least is as simple as 2+2=4… Oh Wait, I see the problem now…

I was getting a massage. Honest. *wink, wink*

Le massage huile sur toile

Image via Wikipedia

DAVID BECKHAM: ‘I COULDN’T HAVE SLEPT WITH PROSTITUTE – I WAS GETTING A MASSAGE AT THE TIME’

WIDTS: It’s rather charming that you think “getting a massage” can’t be construed to say “getting laid“. LOL!! It’s hard to believe that you haven’t heard of a happy ending massage, Becks.


© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

You Get What You Pay For

Prostitute in Tijuana, Mexico.

Image via Wikipedia

Question posted on a popular Q&A site: What does Red Itchy bumps on penis mean?

WIDTS: It means that you didn’t pay enough for the hooker.

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

New Feature

trophy

Image via Wikipedia

Announcing: The Arrogance Awards!

I will be occasionally be choosing someone or something I believe to be arrogant  in their beliefs or actions. On to today’s nominees!!

a) People who try to undo millions of years of human evolution/God’s programming by making you feel guilty for choosing a certain type of person to like.

2) Utah politicians who continually ignore the laws and ethics statutes in plain view of the public.

lastly) Me, for thinking anyone cares about this other than me. LOL

And the winner is… (drum roll please) People who try to undo millions of years of human evolution/God’s programming by making you feel guilty for choosing a certain type of person to like.

Let me clarify an already clear statement

Sun Land Motel

Image by kevindooley via Flickr

Caller: Do you have any rooms available?

Me: I’m sorry the front desk is closed and the earliest they would be able to check anyone in would be noon.

Caller: So you don’t have any available now?

WIDTS: Yes we do, 6 timezones to the east. Have a great day in Europe.

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*


© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….


Please become a hermit

Four hermit crabs in an aquarium

Image via Wikipedia

Question found on a popular Q&A site: I found water filled bubbles in my hermit crabs tank what. Can They be?

WIDTS: Water filled bubbles in a water environment? Hmmmm. lemme think, water?

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say…