Ass-backwards Compliment

A tweet I saw today: Breaking ground at Benderson Park rowing facility which is rated as

Pictograms of Olympic sports - Rowing. This is...

Olympic rowing pictograph

best in the world!

WIDTS: Rated best in the world and it’s not even built yet? Must be some real shitty rowing facilities out there. Or is the first one?

Copyright 2011 by What I Desired To Say….

Apple Jack-Offs

Apple today announced a fix for it’s iPhone while at the same time denying that a fix was necessary.

WIDTS: Pretty soon the US government will hire Apple’s PR team in order to contradict itself without needing to release two seperate news releases. Very efficient work there Apple.

© 2011 by What I Desired to Say….

Thieves Shouldn’t Be Choosers

A story in Salt Lake Tribune reports that a man that had stolen a car in OCTOBER 2007 in Washington DC was feeling the old new car itch so he stole another one, this time at gunpoint.

WIDTS: So you were successful in STEALING a car and getting away with it for 3.5 years and felt like turning yourself in? All criminals should be as courteous.

© 2011 by What I Desired to Say….

Brilliant Writer

Another headline on http://m.espn.go.com:Golf: Will Tiger’s injury set him back?

Tiger Woods

Image via Wikipedia

WIDTS: No, not at all. In fact, the injury should remove all of his excuses for not winning a major in almost 2 years. Goddamn, who writes these headlines?!

© 2011 by What I Desired to Say….

Captain Obvious Returns!

Headline on http://m.espn.go.com: NBA: Jackson confident Lakers guard Bryant will play.

WIDTS: As if the sporting universe was all that concerned that Hornets guard Bry… Wait, what? The Hornets don’t have a guard named Bryant? Are you sure? Yep, I just checked the roster. No one with the name Bryan even.

© 2011 by What I Desired to Say….

Crabby Tuna

WIDTS: So, King Neptune, are you saying that 2 animals that look completely different have the same meat? If so, I refuse to pay those prices for crab meat anymore!

Hasn’t Scratched The Surface

Skin and scratch

Question posted on a popular Q&A site: Does scratch mark made by pin on chest last forever because its on chest?

WIDTS: I really hope you haven’t begun to scratch the surface of your intellectual potential, because if this is exerting yourself, I weep for your future.

© 2011 by What I Desired to Say….

Trusted

WIDTS: A friend that is likely enough to get pulled over for suspicion of DUI in your car and you call them a TRUSTED friend? I think you need to look up trust in the dictionary.

2 Legit 2 Quit

WIDTS: Legit nicknames, eh? As if there’s a Nickname Clearinghouse that all nicknames have to approved through before they can be used. Actually there should be. The first letter of the first name and first syllable of the last name thing is like the Nickname Council had to hire an new member on an emergency basis. It lacks creativity and pizzazz.