Me: I’m sorry our system is down right now so your alerts are not going out. Our technicians are aware of the issue and are working on it right now. However, I do not know when the issue would be resolved.
Caller: Do you know when they might go out?
Me: As a matter of fact I do! Right as soon as pigs fly up your nose and out your ass! What’s that? You’ve got pigs stuck in your ass? Well the sooner you get ’em out, the sooner we will send your alerts.
*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*
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