This month signifies a year since I went to an institution where freedom, speaking your mind and expressing yourself are not exactly foremost in the minds of your caretakers. In honor of that
exquisitely fun shitty time, I present this post.
While that 3 month journey was not exactly pleasant, I did learn a valuable lesson; something that I should have leaned while growing up around my family. It is called a ‘courtesy flush’.
What is a courtesy flush? Well according to my
cell roommates and urbandictionary.com, it is the act of flushing multiple times during your bowel movement in order to cut down on the aroma that emanates from said action.
Now as I mentioned, this was not something my family knew about and when I was growing up, houses that had more than one bathroom per every three people was nearly unheard of. I mean sure, Donald Trump had homes with what seemed like 3 bathrooms for every person (can you imagine how bad his shit stinks if he has to rotate which bathroom he uses?), but no one we knew had more than 2 twa-lets in their home. So if the after-effects of a meal were particularly
gruesome spectacular, it wasn’t unusual for there to be a waiting list for the bathrooms. Exhaust fans and open windows work to some degree, but when it’s an assembly line situation, the scent still overpowers lingers.
So imagine my surprise, when I take my first potty ‘break’ and I get castigated for NOT using what is standard practice around the civilized world. I don’t mind telling you, I was a bit embarr-ass-ed. But I did learn to use –or not use– the courtesy flush to my advantage. Can you believe it took until I was in my 30’s for that little clump of information?
Oh yeah, I suppose there was that whole “Don’t break the law.” lesson as well.
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