Fast-Food Equivalent

English: Fast food in Yambol, Bulgaria Българс...

English: Fast food in Yambol, Bulgaria (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If the company I answer calls for was a fast-food franchise, the following is how they would acquire customers:

  1. Identify the easiest marks at other food places; grocery stores, restaurants, dinner tables, etc.
  2. Kidnap them, making sure a blindfold was in place and knocked out for the duration of their trip to their restaurant.
  3. Once at the restaurant, the company would make sure the ‘customers’ were unable to ID any employees, landmarks, smells or sounds that might tip them off as to which restaurant they were at.
  4. The company would then shove their sub-standard-yet-similar-to every other) food down their throats and while doing it, they would tell the ‘customers’ that if they kept doing it that in due time (always an inexact and vaguely defined period) the customers would eventually have the body and fitness level of Lance Armstrong… when he dies.
  5. If they happened to be able to figure out who the company was and demanded a “refund” of their actions, the company would then give them a slow acting agent that would cause them to vomit the contents of their stomach over a 3-5 business day time frame.
And do you think a restaurant would be allowed to remain in business if they were doing those things to acquire customers? Well, if it’s providing a steady source of underpaid jobs so that the current presidential candidates’ spin doctors could claim that there was positive news on the economy… maybe.

Mitt Romney, former governor of Massachusetts,...

Needless to say, yet I’m going to anyway, I am looking for a different job. I can’t stand much more of this.

© 2012 by What I Desired to Say….

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