Ch, Ch, Ch Changes!

Caller: I only deal with one payday loan company and I have never had this happen before.

WIDTS: So, by that reasoning, the saying should be “The only constant is everything”, right? Dumbass!

© 2012 by What I Desired to Say….

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Lights, Please!

Aurora borealis in Alaska

Aurora borealis in Alaska (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Caller: I cannot wait to see the Northern Lights here in Alaska. Concierge, what time do you turn them on?

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Hearing Impaired

Me: OK, ma’am I have cancelled that out. Your cancellation # is 1000985236 and a refund will be appearing in your account in 3-7 business days.

Caller: OK, the cancellation # is 1000985236 and I’ll have a refund in 3 days.

Me: The refund will arrive in 3-7 business days.

Caller: OK, 3-7 days

WIDTS: Yes, 3-7 days… on Pluto. 

© 2012 by What I Desired to Say….

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Same, but Different?

Me: OK ma’am, I have cancelled the account here and we are issuing a refund for our fee of $29.95 which should be in your account in the next 3-6 business days.

Caller: What about the $14.95 fee?

Me: We only charge a fee of $29.95. Does our name appear next to the $14.95 charge, ma’am?

Caller: Well, my bank told me that both entries had the same number, but if you could just refund me the $29.95, I have another number to call for the $14.95.

WIDTS: Do you even understand what you just said

© 2012 by What I Desired to Say….

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Narrowed It Down

Caller: My name is Christina Doe

Me: OK, thank you Ms. Doe and can I ask which version of Christina it is that you use?

Caller: C.

WIDTS: It’s great that you narrowed the possible options by half, just like my opinion of your intelligence.

© 2012 by What I Desired to Say….

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You have won Q-Tips!

Me: When you filled out the application for the loan, the Terms & Conditions of the application stated that if you were declined for the loan or if you opted to not receive the loan, then you would be enrolled in this optional program designed to help save you $100-$300.

Caller: But I told the person that called that I didn’t want their loan. Why am I signed up for this?

WIDTS: Congratulations! As the 100th caller I have spoken with today that listened to me explain the situation, yet didn’t hear a fucking word I said, you have won a lifetime supply of Q-Tips!

A pack of 54 Q-tips

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

© 2012 by What I Desired to Say….

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