I Deny Your Denial

Me: OK, Becky, may I get your last name, please?

Them: No.

Me: OK, no problem. What is your email address so I can send over this information?

Them: Becky dot Johnson (at) xyzcompany.net

WIDTS: Well that denial was an exercise in futility now wasn’t it? Much like your pursuit of higher learning, I’d imagine.

© 2010-2013 by What I Desired to Say….

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Repeat After Me…

Using a drive thru at a gas station…

Me: I’d like a pack of Marlboro Red 72’s and a liter bottle of Mountain Dew, please.

Clerk: That’s a pack of Marlboro Red 72’s and a liter bottle of Mountain Dew, right?

Me: Yes.

A couple of minutes later…

Clerk: We don’t have a liter bottle of root beer.

WIDTS: Well then perhaps you have a liter bottle of a memory enhancing drink? You do? Drink ALL of them. NOW.

© 2010-2013 by What I Desired to Say….

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Step Removal

IVR I ran into today: TO ENTER THE PHONE NUMBER OF THE PERSON YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH, PRESS 1.

WIDTS: So what purpose do you exist for then?

© 2010-2013 by What I Desired to Say….

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Believe?

Standing in line at the department store last week, I start up a conversation with the guy in front of me. 

Me: Quite a line, huh man? 

Him: Yeah.

Me: So, you all ready for Christmas?

Him: Oh, almost. This Nerf gun and Barbie are my last gifts.

Me: Good for you man. So you apparently don’t believe in this doomsday crap with the Mayan Calendar then, eh?

Him: On, no. It’s totally real. The world is gonna end on Friday.

WIDTS: So you’re buying Christmas presents because… 

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

 

More Guns = Less Violence?

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R – Texas) says he wishes the Sandy Hook Principal had a gun in her office and that MORE guns are the answer to decreasing violence?

Gotta hand it to the Tea Partiers. They stay on message no matter the crap thrown their way by actual events; even when those events demand that we as a society pause and reflect on the course of our nation.

I believe all politicians should take a pledge to shut their traps for a minimum of 72 hours after an event that can be politicized and think about how their bullshit is going to play to the public at large.

Friendly

Caller to a radio show about holiday party hook-ups: This happened to my friend not me. So anyway, I was drunk, er, I mean I was driving her…

WIDTS: It always happens to a “friend”, right? *wink wink*

© 2010-2013 by What I Desired to Say….

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