I think I have figured out why Republicans are against same-sex marriage.
See they are big proponents of law enforcement, right? Well as big supporters of the rule of law, they have to keep as many loopholes as possible closed. One of those loopholes is that a person cannot be forced to testify against their spouse.
If they allow same-sex marriage, then anyone can marry anyone, even co-conspirators of crime. Therefore, by allowing such a thing, they keep open a pool of potential witnesses that would be able to testify against co-conspirators.
And while I wrote this in jest, with the current Republican Party ideals I can imagine this being discussed in some backroom meeting. Can we get some video or audio of that?
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