Useless User

Note on a piece of correspondence we received today…

Your website Username@youareanidiot.com doesn’t work.

WIDTS: Happily, the only ‘fix’ for my website is electro-shock therapy for the malfunctioning user. Enjoy!

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Please Advise…

A portion of a letter we send out on a regular basis:

We recently launched a Procure to Pay initiative to pay our suppliers through a Commercial Visa Card. Our goal is to optimize our commercial card program in order to improve process efficiencies by reducing the cost of processing purchase orders, invoices and checks and improve cash flow.

As a key supplier of our company, we would like to begin paying you using Visa Commercial Card instead of a check or other payment methods.

A response we received from a Supplier:

Please advise what part needs to be completed by our company, because it looks to me like this form is intended for your customer and not us.

WIDTS: Please advise how many times you had to fuck the boss to get your current position.

Does it Apply?

So I am the quality control supervisor at my job. Today, I had to send back a paper to an agent because they did not include a note from the supplier to their customer which read, “We require the billing address also.”

He then sends back the following response: “Would this apply?”

I reply, “If they REQUIRE it, I’m pretty sure it would apply, right?”

Not getting the hint, he then got up from his desk asked me what I meant. He had this to sa about his previous response, “I was asking if what I added was correct.”

WIDTS: You’ve spoken and heard English for all 22 of your years on this Earth and “Would this apply?” means “Is this correct?” to you? Seems legit… to dudes whose girlfriend’s beat them up.