Redux: On Second Thought…

Originally posted on March 2, 2010.

Whew!

Caller: Whew! I’m glad you answered the phone. I’ve been trying in vain for months to get a hold of this number.

Me: I’m sorry you’ve had trouble. What can I help you with?

Caller: I’m sorry. Something just came up. Can I call you back?

WIDTS: Are you sure? Cuz you’ve tried for months to put the 10 numbers in the right sequence to get some help. Might I suggest you call 888-397-5394 for assistance. And have someone else dial it for you.

—-

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

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Redux: Grasping at Straws

this is how they all look to me

Image by greg westfall. via Flickr

Me: Law Office. How can we help you today ?

Caller: I was wondering if there was such a thing as stress leave from a job? My job is just too stressful for me.

Me: Stress leave? Yes, there is. It’s called Unemployment. You may contact them @ 877-386-2277

—–

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*


© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

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Misspelt…

Caller: my email address is marcus.leonard@specialtimes.com. Now make sure you spell that right. One character off and it won’t get to me.
Me: You’re fucking kidding me right? It has to be spelled correctly? Holy SHIT! Maybe that’s why my emails to Megan Fox have not been answered.

—–

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*
© 2010-2013 by What I Desired to Say….

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Redux: Number ONE!

Lola and her one finger salute

Image by mikekanyo via Flickr

Me: The mailing address for your payment is 1258 Main St, Warren, WI. Warren is spelled W-A-R-R-E-N.

Caller: Is that the number one?

Me: Yes. As in the salute you’re receiving at this very moment.

——-

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2010 by What I Desired to Say….

Custom Screenprinting available! No order too small/large!

Redux: Try Mexico…

Caller: I see on your site, that the vaccine for Rubinella* is not available in the United States anymore. Do you know where I can get it?

WIDTS: Well, my cousin was able to get the last bit, but you don’ wanna know how. For $20, he’ll make sure you get the shot. Oh and don’t pay no mind to the chick in the hallway with a needle stickin’ outta her arm. That just my girl, she alive.

——

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2010-2012 by What I Desired to Say….<!–

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Redux: Her Prerogative!

Originally posted February 22, 2010:

Me: I’m sorry, Brad is not available right now. Can I take a message for him?

Caller: No that’s OK. This is Sarah, his sister. Can you take a message to have him give me a call?

WIDTS: I’ve heard the old adage that it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, but rarely do I see it happen so quickly. It usually happens after I’ve put a lot of effort into carrying out her original decision. I thank you for saving me the effort of not taking a message.

—–

*Actual caller handled by the by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2010-2012 by What I Desired to Say….

Custom Screenprinting available! No order too small/large!

Redux: Ahead of His Time

Originally posted on February 18, 2010: 

ME: May I ask you to please confirm the name and address on the account please?

CALLER: Jim Doe, and 9015551234

WIDTS: Interesting address sir. Would it shock you if I said I showed a different address on your account? Or is the rest of the country behind the curve of your new address system?


*Actual caller handled by the by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2010-2012 by What I Desired to Say….

Custom Screenprinting available! No order too small/large!

Redux: Multi-tasking

Originally posted on February 25, 2010:

Me: Thank you for calling ABC Company. This is Steven. How can I help you?

Caller: Willard?

Me: Yes, I’m Willard. I’d like to avoid all of my paying customers, so I’m using a fake name to simultaneously take your call and avoid you at the same time. I’m multi-tasking!!

——

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2010-2012 by What I Desired to Say….

Custom Screenprinting available! No order too small/large!

Redux: Exten-Z-e

Originally posted on February, 25, 2010:

Me: And what phone # can you be reached at please?

Caller: Extension 1058

Me: Is the # to reach that extension option, 1 800 386-2277 by chance? No? Well it should be.

Translate the number to words on your T9 enabled phone or @ the hyper link above.

—-

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2010-2012 by What I Desired to Say….

Custom Screenprinting available! No order too small/large!

Redux: Clearly Wrong…

Me: Thank you for calling Pump U Up Gym. How can I help you?

Caller: Is this Clearly Medical?

WIDTS: Damn! Yes it is. I said ‘Thank you for calling Pump U Up Gym’ because I didn’t want to talk to you, but you caught me.

—–

*Actual caller handled by me while working for an answering service. Names & Identifying information have been changed. Bolded text is what I DESIRED to say…*

© 2010-2012 by What I Desired to Say….

Custom Screenprinting available! No order too small/large!