Problem Solved!

At work, my co-workers call a company’s suppliers to get the suppliers to accept payments via credit card from their client.

A supplier asked if they could be paid separately on the two accounts the customer has set up with them because it is easier for them to reconcile their books that way.

My co-worker commented that it was weird that they would combine payments for accounts that were billed separately and the supplier said, “Oh, we invoice both accounts together.”

WIDTS: Problem solved! Turn in your employee badge immediately & I’ll have Darryl escort you to your car. 

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Address Please?

Wrap Around Address Labels

Image by blush printables via Flickr

Me: And what is the billing address for your order?

Caller: Did you want the billing or shipping address?

Me: You know what? Let me give you an address. The address for the Pay the F*%& Attention Institute.


© 2011 by What I Desired to Say….

Crystally Clear, I Thought

An ADP Model 4500 timecard reader

See this? USE it!

I’m entering time for payroll this week and an EX-employee is missing some days that I’m sure he worked for the last pay period so I send the following email:  “I only have you down as working 3 days with 22 hours on this final pay period. The 16th, 19th, and 20th of September for 8 hours, 7 hours and 7 hours, respectively. If any other days were worked, I need the time and jobs in TODAY because we are submitting Payroll at 5:00 this afternoon.”

Response “I was placed in ‘service’ for the days of 21,22 and 23rd. Also, I was at EX Pawn with Taylor on the 26th. I never received a Timesheet for service.”
WIDTS: Great, so with that response lacking any actual information,  I can assume that you don’t want to be paid, is that correct? Now I see why we made you an EX-employee.

© 2011 by What I Desired to Say….

Tax on the Idiot

The People That Time Forgot (novel)

Customer(pointing at a $5 price sticker): Is this the price?

WIDTS: You forgot the Idiot Tax of $5, so no, it’s $10.

© 2011 by What I Desired to Say….