Moron Test FAIL!

Moron test failure example:

Called and got Jenny’s voicemail and I was waiting for the beep to leave a message and never heard it, will try again later.

This person graduated from high school?!?!?!

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High School Admittance

I'm afraid I won't get into a high school

WIDTS: High school admittance standards in this country are laughably lax. If you can’t “get in” to one, there is a genetic scrub team that needs to visit your house.

© 2010-2013 by What I Desired to Say….

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Parent of the Year!

WIDTS: Were you planning on moving when you got back and creating the high school legend of “The Time Jimmy’s Mom Allowed Him to Throw a Week-Long Party?” If so, then yeah, great idea!

© 2012 by What I Desired To Say….

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Now vs. Then

Authorities locked down my daughter’s high school  today because a couple of kids mixed some chemicals and caused an explosion. Thankfully no one was hurt, but it got me thinking about how her high school experience differs from mine.

Now: Kids plot to blow up the school or shoot people.

Then: Kids planted vicious rumors about their enemies like, “George is gay” or “Stephanie wears granny panties.”

Now: Kid brings a manicure set to school. Principal gives a “ticket” and the kid is one piece of gum stuck under a desk from expulsion and public ridicule.

Schoolchildren eating hot school lunches made ...

School lunch, not to be confused with Skool Lunch (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Then: I used my pocket knife to cut the school lunch into pieces I could suck on and finally chew on my way home from school.

Now: Parent: “How was your day at school?” Kid: “Fine”

Then: Parent: “How was your day at school?” Kid: “Fine”

Maybe it’s not so different after all…

© 2012 by What I Desired to Say….

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Gym Class Sluts

Hooters Calendar Girl Melissa Poe in 2004

From a post on a popular Q&A site:How to make PE uniform look cuter? My crush is in my PE class and I want him to notice me more, I want to look cuter in front of him even when I’m sweating and in a PE uniform. Our uniforms are blue basketball shorts with a school T shirt, the words “Beaumont Middle School Physical Education” are printed in Blue and outlined in Black with the remaining T Shirt white. How can I make myself look cuter? Hair? Accessories? Anything will help, thanks in advance!(:

WIDTS: Two words: BIGGER BOOBS.

You’ll Be Lucky To Have A Sip

From a game recap @ http://m.espn.go.com/ncf/gamecast?gameId=312460204&top&wjb=

“Sac. State’s Jeff Fleming hit Brandyn Reed with a TD pass in OT to pull even with Ore. State and found him again in the end zone when the Hornets went for the two-point conversion for a 29-28 upset win…”

WIDTS: First of all, welcome to the big leagues of sportswriting and congratulations on pulling the wool over the eyes of ESPN’s HR dept. you uncredited hack. I’m sure this is a dream come true for you.

You must have been overly excited to write your first game recap all on your own, so I feel like I can sort of overlook the monumental error you made in describing how the Hornets stung the Beavers on the game’s final two plays.

See in American football different plays can have different score values. Since they were down 7 points and a TD by itself is only 6, what really happened is that the TD merely gave the Hornets the OPPORTUNITY to either tie the score with an extremely likely-to-be successful extra point, win the game with a much less
likely-to-be-successful two-point conversion or lose the game if the two-point try failed. If the TD pass HAD tied the game why not take the best odds and kick the almost-sure-thing extra point?

Now that your football knowledge has been exposed for futbol knowledge, we shall be sending you back to your high school newspaper so you can learn how to write about football so that you can MAYBE have a cup of coffee in “The Show” next year when rosters expand again.

Teen Mom Positives

WIDTS: Well let’s see, you’ve started to alienate your high school class ahead of schedule, you’ll only be 32 by the time they can get a job to help you out financially, when they get in high school you can be an example of what NOT to do.