Does it bother anyone else when you receive a statement from an alleged professional that contradicts itself?
To wit, the following statement:
Thank you for considering Denseon for the payment plus program. We had a project with Mountain View previously and it’s paid in full. As of now, we do not have any upcoming jobs. Denseon will only accept payment by credit card in the future if it’s for incidental work meaning under $5k. Much larger projects will have to be paid by credit card due to high costs in fees.
Thanks for talking yourself into this payment program and being so CLEARLY stupid…
Signature block I received on an email today:
WIDTS: So you think you are e.e. cummings and this is Poetry Hour at the coffeehouse?
Note I saw on a file today:
the university accepts cc payment forstudent intuition. Need invoice to access the account.
WIDTS: Obviously, you have paid WAY too little tuition to have the job you currently have.
Sentence I saw today @ work:
Correct phone number is 860.691.****, it would just entered in incorrectly on the enrollment form.
WIDTS: English teachers, you are failing and providing GREAT content for Internet trolls and grammar nazi’s everywhere. Keep up the splendid job!
At work, my co-workers call a company’s suppliers to get the suppliers to accept payments via credit card from their client.
A supplier asked if they could be paid separately on the two accounts the customer has set up with them because it is easier for them to reconcile their books that way.
My co-worker commented that it was weird that they would combine payments for accounts that were billed separately and the supplier said, “Oh, we invoice both accounts together.”
WIDTS: Problem solved! Turn in your employee badge immediately & I’ll have Darryl escort you to your car.
Note found on a record I am auditing today:
Reached Nanette. Their is no AR person assigned to this account. Carrie Wickers has been assigned.
WIDTS: So which is it? Not assigned or assigned?
BTW, the level of mental disengagement here at work has necessitated a more blunt and forward approach. I apologize for the lack of humor in some of my responses to stupidity.
*Names have been changed to protect the guilty…
Note on a piece of correspondence we received today…
Your website Username@youareanidiot.com doesn’t work.
WIDTS: Happily, the only ‘fix’ for my website is electro-shock therapy for the malfunctioning user. Enjoy!
A business-to-business communication:
Attached is the info requested..any questions pls let us now..thanks
WIDTS: Twitter nor a teenager’s phone this is NOT!
A note received with an enrollment to receive payments by credit card.
Please note that we are unable to received full credit card numbers via email. Please call me directly if this is the case.
Moron test failure example:
Called and got Jenny’s voicemail and I was waiting for the beep to leave a message and never heard it, will try again later.
This person graduated from high school?!?!?!