Me: Hey dude, I need you to change this note because it references things that will confuse the customer.
Co-worker: How should I word the note then?
WIDTS: You are a graduate in Communications and you would like me to tell you what to write? Can you get a refund on your tuition, or maybe some refresher courses from your alma mater?
Working at a call center where we use VoIP.
Boss reprimands me for setting up PC profiles that allegedly do not allow users to save documents to the machine instead of the cloud drive with the reason “I don’t want the potential loss of internet to get in the way of our production.”
Um… Alrighty then
From today’s “They turned off their brain” file:
Supplier sent in an enrollment form completely filled out, faxed it in and then called to ask what other information we needed.
WIDTS: Well… the form was completely filled out, so… I will need the account numbers and passwords for every financial account you own or have control over.
Note I received from a supplier today when they were asked if they required the CVV2 code on the back of credit cards to process a credit card payment:
Require Zip Code card is tide to.
WIDTS: Are you expecting a flood of payments?
Happened upon this in a Yard Sale group on FB:
WIDTS: Are you really, really interested in knowing what it’s all about? THEN FOLLOW THE GOD DAMN INSTRUCTIONS! You all FAIL!!
Saw this email signature block today:
Little Things Matter to
WIDTS: If little things matter ALSO, you suck. If little things matter to YOU, well then may I recommend breast augmentation?
*Name changed to protect the guilty
Self-Tech Support for the user
Things you should do when encountering a hiccup in your technological workings.
1. Capture the error message in full. Even those ‘words’ that are just a bunch of letters/numbers. They can be the most important part of the error message.
2. Close the program and restart it.
3. If web-based, clear cache & cookies.
4. Turn your device off and on. (It’s a cliché because it fucking WORKS).
5. NOW you may contact tech support.
Failure to abide by the above instructions in the prescribed order, may result in thermal detonation of your workspace.
Signature block I received on an email today:
WIDTS: So you think you are e.e. cummings and this is Poetry Hour at the coffeehouse?
Note I saw on a file today:
the university accepts cc payment forstudent intuition. Need invoice to access the account.
WIDTS: Obviously, you have paid WAY too little tuition to have the job you currently have.
Sentence I saw today @ work:
Correct phone number is 860.691.****, it would just entered in incorrectly on the enrollment form.
WIDTS: English teachers, you are failing and providing GREAT content for Internet trolls and grammar nazi’s everywhere. Keep up the splendid job!