Note found on a record I am auditing today:
Reached Nanette. Their is no AR person assigned to this account. Carrie Wickers has been assigned.
WIDTS: So which is it? Not assigned or assigned?
BTW, the level of mental disengagement here at work has necessitated a more blunt and forward approach. I apologize for the lack of humor in some of my responses to stupidity.
*Names have been changed to protect the guilty…
Is anyone else confused about all the days that flags are at half mast lately? Or is it just that I live in one of the most Republican counties in all of America and all the flags are lowered in mourning for the 3+ years still left in Obama’s presidency?
As old as our country is, there has to have been a tragedy on every day of the year that politicians could try to exploit, right? So how about we just leave it at half mast all the time so that the country can just always remember all the tragedies and not move forward? Seems legit to me…
And don’t even give me that Nelson Mandela died. He’s not even a citizen.
© 2010-2013 by What I Desired to Say….
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Note on a piece of correspondence we received today…
Your website Username@youareanidiot.com doesn’t work.
WIDTS: Happily, the only ‘fix’ for my website is electro-shock therapy for the malfunctioning user. Enjoy!
Gotta love corporate “cover-their-ass” signs that question why the feature the business is providing even exists.
A business-to-business communication:
Attached is the info requested..any questions pls let us now..thanks
WIDTS: Twitter nor a teenager’s phone this is NOT!
A note received with an enrollment to receive payments by credit card.
Please note that we are unable to received full credit card numbers via email. Please call me directly if this is the case.
A portion of a letter we send out on a regular basis:
We recently launched a Procure to Pay initiative to pay our suppliers through a Commercial Visa Card. Our goal is to optimize our commercial card program in order to improve process efficiencies by reducing the cost of processing purchase orders, invoices and checks and improve cash flow.
As a key supplier of our company, we would like to begin paying you using Visa Commercial Card instead of a check or other payment methods.
A response we received from a Supplier:
Please advise what part needs to be completed by our company, because it looks to me like this form is intended for your customer and not us.
WIDTS: Please advise how many times you had to fuck the boss to get your current position.
Moron test failure example:
Called and got Jenny’s voicemail and I was waiting for the beep to leave a message and never heard it, will try again later.
This person graduated from high school?!?!?!
So I am the quality control supervisor at my job. Today, I had to send back a paper to an agent because they did not include a note from the supplier to their customer which read, “We require the billing address also.”
He then sends back the following response: “Would this apply?”
I reply, “If they REQUIRE it, I’m pretty sure it would apply, right?”
Not getting the hint, he then got up from his desk asked me what I meant. He had this to sa about his previous response, “I was asking if what I added was correct.”
WIDTS: You’ve spoken and heard English for all 22 of your years on this Earth and “Would this apply?” means “Is this correct?” to you? Seems legit… to dudes whose girlfriend’s beat them up.